The Family Tree–In Which You “Meet” Your Cousin So-So

Dear Lily June,

There are some moments in a child’s life that are so cute, they should be immortalized forever. Your cousin “Sophie,” who we all call “So-So,” just had one of those, and it feels as if it’s the perfect anecdote by which to introduce you to her, at least figuratively (as you’re under one, and she currently lives in another state).

First things first, you should know that So-So is no shrinking violet. Given the option to don little pink bows or big green Incredible Hulk fists, she’ll always chose the latter. One of her favorite pj’s was shaped like a (decidedly male-looking) superhero chest, complete with bulging pillowed pecs. The picture below gives a fairly accurate image of her powers at play.

So we’re dealing with one tough little person here, a four-year-old who, on Sunday of this week, woke up at 2:00 AM to play because she was excited–not scared–that she was going into surgery on Monday. Okay, so it was oral surgery as her teeth were so frightened of her strength, they rebelled, but it still required her to be put under anesthesia with an IV in her arm.

So tough was she that when she shot awake after the anesthesia wore off, she demanded of my sister, “Who hurt me?” To which my sister, your Aunt Loren, replied, “The doctors and nurses had to work on you, So-So.” As they were leaving then, So-So turned to my sister and whispered, loudly, “Don’t tell them, but I hate them.” With all due respect to the incredible services of the dental and medical industries, that is just adorably funny. But that’s not all.

When they got home, my sister found out why, other than because of the pain, So-So was so angry. She was cutting up potatoes to mash them for So-So’s soft-foods-only diet for the next couple of days, and So-So asked your Aunt Loren if she could help cut. “No,” my sister said, “I don’t want you to hurt your hands with the knife.”

“My hand already has a boo-boo,” she told my sister, and showed her by pointing to where the IV had gone in. Wanting to test her knowledge of what she’d just gone through, my sister asked her, “Oh, honey. What happened to you?”

To which So-So confidently replied, “You know those chargers for tablets? Well, the doctors and nurses put one of those into my arm. Right into my skin, those idiots.” And that, Lily June, is why your four-year-old cousin So-So is so, so amazing.

Where some see this…

…So-So sees this.

The only time I’ve heard of confusion cuter is in the YouTube sensation from seven years ago, “David after the Dentist.” All of which is to say you come from the best blood line. Ever. And also, let’s brush your teeth. A lot. Like, a lot a lot.